My Generation

I lost a dear cousin to pancreatic cancer on Tuesday.  Barbara Ann Nipper Carter.  She was 63.  Some of the family thought we had the same laugh and similar voices.  She was a wonderful woman with a great sense of humor and a generous and loving spirit.  That makes the third loved one I've lost to pancreatic cancer.  It is a shock to stop in your life and realize how many people in the older generation are gone, most of the uncles, a beloved aunt, my precious parents.  Everyone on my Dad's side is gone now from that generation.  And now, the first from my generation has gone.  Most of my first cousins are many years older than me.  My parents were both young in their sibling groups, and they had kids late in life.  So, that put my sister and I several years behind many of our cousins.  I think my oldest cousin on my dad's side is close to 70.  It kind of puts me between generations.  I was too young to hang out with many of my cousins at family gatherings, but many of their kids were too young to really hang out with me.  I'm in the middle.  Maybe that's why I've never really felt a certain age, not that I'm ageless, but more like a floater.  I'm worried about my aunt.  She's had so much on her and I hope she can get through this.  My uncle, her husband, isn't doing well either.  I'm praying for Barbara Ann's immediate family and especially my Aunt.